


The Past

by Hannah_Suth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 15:30:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16977213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_Suth/pseuds/Hannah_Suth
Summary: AU. Remus goes to work at Hogwarts as the DADA teacher the same year that Sirius breaks free from Azkaban. He hasn't thought about the fact that Regulus Black is the Hogwarts potion master. Where ever he turns he can't seem to get away from thoughts of his old friend and ex-lover, who was apparently a murderer all along.





	The Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abd/gifts), [meditationsinemergencies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/gifts).



> My procrastination got the better of me and I didn’t have time to do everything I wanted with this story, but I hope you still have fun reading it! Thanks to the gift exchange organisers, it was a super cute idea. 
> 
> This is an AU fic, with Regulus as the Death Eater spy teaching potions at Hogwarts instead of Severus.

Remus hadn’t thought. He’d been so enamoured by the idea of a stable job (even if he knew it was only for a year) and getting to know James and Lily’s son, that he hadn’t stopped to think about who he’d be working with. He glanced down the table and quickly turned away before Regulus could catch his eye. 

**

Back when they’d all been students at Hogwarts Sirius had cried when Regulus hadn’t spoken to him after he’d been kicked out of home. 

Remus remembered Sirius whispering, “I thought that if he would just talk to me I could stop him becoming who he’s going to become,” through his sobs. 

That had been the last time Remus had seen Sirius cry, after that any bad news he heard sent him into a fit of rage instead. Sirius had always seemed to hate the Death Eaters more than any of them. It was funny how things turned out. The person you thought you knew best, the person who’d convinced the three other Marauders that they needed to be in The Order as soon as they’d finished seventh year, could turn out to be the same person who’d sell out a friend to the other side. And the brother of that man, who you’d thought was your enemy, could be sitting down the other end of the staff dinner table chatting merrily to Professor Flitwick. 

***

After dinner Remus found himself pacing his office, thoughts whirring through his mind. How could he have forgotten that Regulus worked at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had been so devious, thought Remus bitterly, saying that ‘the potions master,’ would brew the wolfsbane potion, never saying, ‘Regulus Black, brother of the friend who allowed Lily and James to die’. 

Remus found himself jolted from his thoughts by a knock at the door. Quickly he sat down at the desk and stared at closed door. For a second he considered opening it, wondering if it was maybe Dumbledore, come to apologise for not warning Remus that Regulus would be there. He couldn’t very well ignore Dumbledore, after everything the headmaster had gone through to allow a werewolf to teach at Hogwarts. He even imagined it being Harry, but Harry hadn’t seemed to recognise him on the train. Harry had seemed to have no idea that Remus had known his parents so well. Remus remembered Harry crawling around underfoot. He’d been a smiling happy baby, even when it had seemed like the world was crumbling around them. 

Anger clouded Remus’s thoughts as he pictured Sirius swinging the small toddler above his head. It had always seemed like Sirius had loved that baby as much as James and Lily had, but obviously they’d all been mistaken. Remus’s shoulders crumpled and he rested his head in his hands. The person behind the door continued to knock.  
Suddenly the door sprung off its hinges. Remus’s head jerked up in surprise. Before him stood the formidable figure of Minerva McGonagall wand aloft. 

“I wasn’t expecting any guests,” stated Remus in an attempt to maintain his dignity. “Please have a seat.”

Minerva gave him a gentle smile. “I rather imagined you’d be expecting a particular guest,” she replied calmly, as though she regularly burst through fellow staff members doors in a puff of smoke and then sat down for a quiet cup of tea without batting an eyelid. 

“I’m sure Regulus wouldn’t have,” Remus answered without requiring an explanation from Minerva. “Sirius... I don’t think Regulus would… Surely Regulus doesn’t want to talk about that.”

“I think Regulus did want to come. He’s keen to make sure that the two of you are comfortable working together this year and I think he’d like to talk to someone about his brother. Someone who saw Sirius as a whole person, not just who he became.” 

Minerva gazed intensely at Remus before adding, “I asked him to wait, because I didn’t think you’d be ready on your first night. I think it’s hard for all of us to fathom how Sirius went from the boy we knew to the man who was convicted of murdering those muggles, I can’t imagine how it feels for Regulus. But I think you could.” 

Remus swallowed, then nodded. 

“Anyway, I’m sure I’ve kept you long enough. Good night Remus, good luck with your classes tomorrow,” Minerva concluded. 

“Thank you. Good night Professor. I mean, good night Minerva.” 

Minerva’s last sentence reminded Remus that he had much more to be nervous about then discussing the past with Regulus. He had to stand up tomorrow before a horde of teenagers and attempt to impart knowledge. With a sigh Remus stood and pulled a lesson plan from the pocket of his well-worn robes. Thoughts of Regulus ran through his head as he read over his carefully inked notes. 

**

Remus could feel Regulus watching him over the course of the next week. Remus was sure he understood how Regulus felt; an all coming desire to have a conversation about the past, but at the same time feeling like the past was too big to possibly talk about. By the Friday Remus couldn’t take it any longer and cornered Regulus after dinner. 

“Let’s get this out of the way,” he stated bluntly. 

“What?” replied Regulus. His lack of apprehension was clearly written across his face. 

“Let’s talk about Sirius. Then maybe you can stop obsessively watching me like I’m suddenly going to pull out a banner with the coordinates for Sirius’s location."

Regulus looked sheepishly at his feet. 

“It’s just that you knew him. I didn’t know him the same way the three of you did. I just think… if I’m ever going to understand, maybe you’re the one who could help me.” 

Remus shook his head bluntly, “I don’t understand it myself. I never would have guessed.”

Remus remembered the last time he’d seen Sirius. Tears in his eyes as he strode purposefully towards his motorbike. He’d turned to Remus, long dark hair flicking over his shoulder and spat out the words, “I’m going to Godric’s Hollow. Maybe Harry’s still there.”

Remus had had to helplessly watch him go. He’d still been too weak from the last full moon to contemplate going anywhere. He remembered thinking that he might never see Sirius again, he’d seemed like he was going get himself killed in a fit of rage. At the time Remus had just wanted to wrap his arms around Sirius and hold him for days. Now when he thought of that memory it was only to imagine how Sirius had had the gall to appear upset. 

He’d never talked about Sirius. All he usually tried to do was forget the nice memories he had of his friend. Maybe he needed this as much as Regulus did. 

“Eight thirty, Three Broomsticks?” Remus asked. 

**

Friday drinks became a regular thing for Remus and Regulus. For the first couple of weeks they just talked about Sirius. Regulus spoke about the time that had changed his life; on Sirius’s last day of Hogwarts after the brothers hadn’t spoken to each other in years Sirius had pulled Regulus aside. 

“I’ll always be here,” Sirius had said. “Remember when you were eight and our father tried to hit you with that hex and I jumped in front of you, I’d do it again now. No matter what happens, even if you become a murderous Death Eater, I’ve got your back.” 

“I don’t need you,” Regulus had hissed back, “The Dark Lord will protect me now.” 

“And if I’ve been killed in this stupid war,” Sirius continued calmly and practically ignoring the interjection, “you could go to Dumbledore. You always have a choice.” 

Regulus gulped. “Thank you,” he’d whispered. The words, “if I’ve been killed,” reverberated through Regulus’s brain as he watched Sirius stride off. An hour later he’d caught a glimpse of Sirius at the train station in Hogsmeade, an arm thrown casually around Remus, The two of them were laughing at a rendition James and Peter were doing of James’s last prank on McGonagall. 

That had been the last time Regulus had seen Sirius. It’d be a long time before Regulus would take Sirius’s advice. He still hadn’t felt able to speak to Sirius, but had turned up at the gates of Hogwarts, desperate and afraid. Dumbledore had listened calmly and without judgement. When Dumbledore had placed a hand on his shoulder, it was the first time he’d felt safe in years. Even knowing what Sirius had done, he felt an immense love for his brother for that small conversation that had changed the course of his life. 

Regulus talked openly with Remus about the traumatic childhood he and Sirius had shared. Remus told Regulus about silly Marauder pranks, and harrowing war time missions he’d been partnered with Sirius in. Remus was also curious about Harry, so Regulus told Remus stories of Harry’s first few years at Hogwarts. Eventually a companionship formed that had nothing to do with Sirius. Remus found himself simply enjoying Regulus’s company. 

One evening in October when the two men were sequestered away in a corner of The Three Broomsticks sipping fire whiskey in companionable silence Remus found himself picking out the differences between Regulus and his brother. Regulus’s hair was straighter, he always wore traditional wizards’ robes and their eyes were not the same shade. Regulus was taller. Mostly, Remus supposed, it was their mannerisms that set them apart. Sirius had been boisterous, dramatic and taken up space, Regulus loitered on the outskirts, but spoke with a quiet confidence. 

Regulus cleared his throat awkwardly. Remus tore his gaze away, a splash of crimson on his cheeks revealing that he was embarrassed to have been caught staring. 

“Sorry, I was just… I got distracted sorry,” Remus stuttered out. 

Regulus smiled, “it’s fine. I don’t mind. Stare away.” 

Regulus reached across the table and placed his hand on top of Remus’s, all the while maintaining eye contact. Remus’s head spun. Memories that he’d been trying to repress for years sprung into his mind. The first time Sirius had held his hand in sixth year. The night in seventh year that they’d found out Remus’s Mother had been killed in the war and Sirius had crawled into Remus’s bed and they had slept holding each other for the first time. Remus’s head spun. He remembered the first time he’d had sex with Sirius, and he remembered the times after that that had been infinitely better. A wave of dizziness washed over him as the grey eyes in his memories morphed in to blue eyes that looked suspiciously like Regulus’s. 

In a violent motion Remus pulled his hand away. “I can’t… It’s just… Sirius,” Remus muttered, pushing his chair backward and tugging his sweater over his head. “Bye.”

“Wait, I’m sorry,” shouted Regulus running out the door after Remus. 

Remus was walking quickly, but at a jog Regulus soon caught up to him. 

“Let’s just walk back to the castle. I swear I only meant to flirt a little. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.”

Remus suddenly stopped walking and Regulus came to a standstill as well. Without pausing to think Remus pushed Regulus against the wall of a nearby building and leant in for a kiss. Regulus’s hands traversed Remus’s body and Remus melted at the touch. It had been so long since Remus had let anyone get that close to him, mentally or physically.  
As Remus pulled away he could have sworn he saw a big black dog disappear into the trees at the end of the street. 

The rest of their walk back to the castle passed without event, just light, jokey conversation. The kiss wasn’t mentioned until they got to the entrance hall. 

“We won’t do that again,” Regulus informed him bluntly. “I didn’t know that you and Sirius were once together. I don’t want to be a replacement for my brother.” 

“It isn’t like that,” Remus protested feebly. 

“Tell you what though,” added Regulus, with a devilish smirk that made him an almost spitting image of Sirius, “if you promise to introduce me to the cute friend you had lunch with two weeks ago- the one with the beautiful deep voice and the earring- I won’t hold the fact that you’re still in love with my murderous brother against you.” 

“Kingsley?” asked Remus.

Regulus nodded.

“Seems fair,” stated Remus with a quiet laugh. 

**

Remus couldn’t forget having seen that dog in Hogsmeade. The guilt that already wracked him for not having told Dumbledore that Sirius was an animagus increased tenfold. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to admit to Dumbledore how many lies he’d told or the danger he’d put his friends in. The irony was that in not doing so, Remus knew that he was compounding on all the lies and placing more people in danger. The incident with Regulus had forced Remus to admit something else to himself; maybe the reason he hadn’t told Dumbledore was out of a ridiculous sense of loyalty to the ex-boyfriend who had betrayed their best friend. Love really was blind. 

Instead of confronting this issue, Remus found himself making himself a promise. If he saw the dog again he’d tell Dumbledore everything. If he didn’t, he’d chalk it up to be a weird side-effect of that emotional moment with Regulus. That was how Remus found himself taking so many evening walks looking for something he hoped he wouldn’t see. Occasionally Regulus or Minerva joined him, but most nights he was left to disappear into the void of his own thoughts. 

It was on one such walk, just a few hundred metres away from the school that Remus finally saw that large, black dog again. He drew his wand, then froze, unsure what to do. The familiar animal ambled up the path towards him. Even though he knew who it was, he was still startled when the dog quickly changed into a man. Sirius looked haggard and dirty, but despite that he looked so similar to Remus’s memories. Remus took a step forward, wand angled dangerously towards the other man’s chest. Sirius threw his arms in the air. 

“I don’t even have a wand,” he spat out. 

The strange harsh quality to Sirius’s voice made Remus wonder how long it had been since he’d last spoken aloud.

Remus’s body was shaking with fear and rage. 

“You killed Lily and James,” stated Remus. “You killed Peter. You killed thirteen muggles. You lied to me about everything. How dare you come near here”

Remus fought to hold back the tears that threatened to roll down his cheeks. He’d imagined this moment countless times, but somehow still didn’t know what to do. 

“You kissed my brother!” exclaimed Sirius aggressively. “I’m surprised to hear you say Death Eaters with dangerous pasts bother you.” 

A disconcerting grin was plastered across Sirius’s face, but his eyes were cold and unyielding. Remus wondered is maybe Azkaban had made him crazy. 

Remus almost opened his mouth to apologise, to explain that it had been a one off, that Regulus was probably having sex with Kingsley at this very moment, then stopped. How ridiculous that he still felt a loyalty to the murderous cretin that stood before him. 

“Regulus never betrayed his best friend.”

Sirius look at the ground forlornly. 

“I won’t deny it. I as good as killed Lily and James. And I certainly wished death upon Peter.” 

In that moment Remus realised that somehow he’d been wrong about everything. He’d recognise an overly-dramatised Sirius Black speech anywhere. That phrase, ‘as good as,’ always meant there was another, slightly less sensationalised, explanation. 

“You didn’t do it,” whispered Remus. “All these years I thought… Merlin. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.” 

Remus finally lowered his wand and pulled Sirius into the tightest embrace his shaky arms could manage. 

“Wait,” added Remus, “why would you wish death on Peter? How did Voldermort find them that night? Why didn’t I fight for a trial? Or at least a visit with you?” Remus’s questions trailed off and he launched into a series of apologies. 

“Surely you want the story. Or would you like to keep talking all night without waiting for a reply?” asked Sirius sarcastically. 

Remus laughed through his tears. He’d missed Sirius so much.

Sirius gave Remus the story, pausing only to try to convince him that they should go hunt for “that fucking rat,” right away. Remus just smiled at him gently. Tomorrow they’d discuss a better plan for Wormtail and strategies for getting Sirius’s case put before the wizengamot. For tonight Remus planned only to distract Sirius. 

He took him to the shack, the only safe place he could think of to go. When they got there, he conjured up a large bath of hot water. He watched shamelessly as Sirius stripped himself free of the dirty rags he’d been wearing. Remus was shocked to see how thin Sirius had become, but was still pleasantly tantalised by the idea of touching the man he loved after all these years. The look of pure glee on Sirius’s face when he sunk into the water was one that Remus would remember forever. Remus could imagine just how the night would go. They’d press their naked bodies together, reminisce about their youth and then grasp each other’s cocks in their hands. Remus could barely wait to pull his throbbing erection free from his pants and lie down with the love of his life once again. 

**

There were problems aplenty to face in the morning, but also things to look forward to as well. He’d get to tell Sirius about what a hero Regulus had become. Sirius and Harry would get to be reunited. Best of all, the man Remus loved was innocent and he planned to spend the rest of his life with him.


End file.
